I bet her Chemistry teacher was thinking “omg I had an impact”

Tone deaf Lean In Drek. What can you expect?

Brandon Roy is one of the more depressing guys in basketball from a talent perspective. He was so good, but his body couldn’t handle the punishment.

I hope he is ok. My thoughts are with him and his family.

Apparently he was shot in the leg. Might as well chop those things off at this point and cut your losses, Brandon.

My four year old daughter snuck my eight year old son’s pet turtle in her little purse for a trip to Disney. It escaped and snuck under the seat. We had no clue of the shelled stowaway, so it was left in the car while we did the Disney thing. Car interiors get hot in Florida in August, especially after 11 hours.

No kidding, especially since they take like 2 days to air dry after washing.

Anyone else know that camelbak bottles with the long straws and chocolate milk become pressurized when they turn from the heat and 2 days in the car?

They really should sell car seats with 2 sets of covers.

I’ll make this as exposition-free as possible.

Year 1: Bad player

I know how he feels, I got drunk and thought I could make a ball bearing Blizzard, the machine blew up and DQ is garnishing my wages at a 99% clip to cover the loss.

My atrocious PMS responds extremely well to 3 margaritas. Tried it last night and it worked miracles.

Well, I guess until you hit menopause, your negative emotions DO come out of your uterus fairly regularly. Mine are coming out right now, and I can attest to how fucking negative I feel about the whole situation.

Stop carrying your negative emotions in your uterus and you may have an easier time. Once you push them out you will be able to access your power better. I keep all of my negative emotions in my anus, so I can get rid of them daily.

It’s hard to gin up too much sympathy for the people who buy this stuff. There is plentiful, freely available information showing that Gwyneth and her ilk are completely full of shit. If you’re still falling for it, that’s on you. It’s like joining Scientology and being shocked that it’s a scam.

Jesus Christ. Postnatal depletion? Yeah, every f-ing day as a single parent of a 6 year old. The only thing that seems to help with it is either beer or mirobrews. Fuck Goop. Seriously.

Can I just say, I looooved the huge mesh panties they gave me at the hospital? I actually had a nurse bring me extras to take home and wore them for like 6 weeks. IT’S LIKE WEARING AIR! Mine weren’t really ‘mesh’, more like a super thin stretchy kinda gauze? Whatever they were, I would totally wear them again if they…

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