Come on. I feel like Texas is the least embarrassing of the 3. That may just be what I tell myself to get through the day. “Texas, we’re the least embarrassing of the most embarrassing states.”

New plan, hear me out. We just need someone to brainwash him and turn him into his own “Manchurian Candidate”. He will assassinate himself. The only hard part will be tearing him away from Bannon’s pudgy hands.

I also love going to movies during the week. It’s just the best thing ever. You can spread out and really enjoy your contraband food more easily. Plus, you know everyone else there is probably also drinking purse wine. I hope more people don’t start doing this.

I am simultaneously delighted and disgusted. I also hope Donald sharts.

Much wine is needed to soothe my rage headache.

Shall we just at Norway to the growing list of countries who think we’ve lost our minds?

Except he prefers to bathe in the blood of elephants and zebras.

After reading this, I totally see that now. I’m sure all rats are looking into plastic surgery to look less like Eric Trump. They have it hard enough without this asshole making them look worse.

I guess we can all meet at the burning ashes of the White House and yell, “Told you so”. It will be the only vindication we’ll get before some other country claims America as it’s own. I’m betting it will be Russia or China. Or maybe, Australia? I might be cool with that if we can all have a Koala bear. By the end of…

Every single day since he’s been elected I think, “How about now, can you impeach him now?” The answer always seems to be, NO. I’m afraid by the time they decide to do it, it will be too late. We’ll probably be in some war nobody but he and Bannon will want.

And the president who was a big fan of genocide and slave trading?

This feels way too real.

Hopefully that so-called judge is having a good laugh at our so-called president. I sure am. Anything that makes him angry makes me super happy.

I’d vote for her, to fuck right off. Her only concern is to make charter schools money and destroy the education of the children of America. I should clarify that I mean the children of people who are not rich.

Probably because they do it so much they assume everyone is as shady as they are. It’s probably hard for them to accept not having to pay people for support.

My truth is too real and maybe it brings back some bad memories.

This is the best thing I’ve see all week, nay, all year. That first dance move makes him look like he just shart his pants and is trying to shimmy his way to the bathroom before a turd falls out of his pant leg.

It looks like CNN started drinking the TGIF wine a little early. I get it CNN. I’ll join you.

More and more I’m starting to remember all the tremendous stuff he did. Peanuts, it has something to do with peanuts, right? Someone should call him and get him to publicly support Donald Trump. Can we get on that?

Subtly (not that subtly) blaming Obama helps them look like the good guys for their base. Now they can all go around acting like their hands are clean. It’s all Obama’s fault.