“That Bill Nye’s so hot right now” -Mugatu

Thank you, not coming soon to a theatre near you. Unless a producer is reading this. Call me.

Much like Trump, I’m only good at the idea part, except I have good ideas. I’m going to need some minions to do the actual work.

It definitely sounds like it would be a cool movie about a murder mystery on a deserted island. And it’s surrounded by sharks, obviously.

It took me awhile to work out the hash tag. I had to get my reading glasses and thought it was a biopic of a photo journalist names skullis inland who was killed during a war. It sounded really good until I found out it was a fecking King Kong movie.

He has to use a model because his own body looks a little like melted dough.

This is good advice for anybody not sure weather or not to release a fart. This knowledge could save the lives of many innocent underwear.

Your point ignorant and useless. You can’t compare rudeness and genocide. Let’s take away your rights, your land, treat you like shit on a daily basis, and kill your people off and see how polite you feel like being. Get it now.

It feels like just what they want. And the sad thing is the government will have weapons and get away with murder claiming they were in there legal right. America has broken every treaty it’s made with Native American’s.

Women: Getting shit done since the beginning of time. And still getting blamed for that whole apple situation.

A lady can only take so much bullshit before she turns into a nasty woman.

If feels like the women are doing all the heavy lifting in this fight.

Cars are basically the only place teenagers can have sex. Unless someone has a house party. Actual fact and not alternative.

She looks like she’s mid, “Heeeeeyyyyyyy, girl”

If he doesn’t get with the program he’ll end up on a deserted island with Chris Christie. A fate worse than death.

Never a truck but once I had sex in a Chevy Spectrum and it was painful and kind of dangerous as I almost sat on the stick shift. And not in a good way. Vehicle sex is worse than pool or jacuzzi sex.

And much like Bill O’Reilly, you can’t trust it. Next week he’ll be in love with Trump again.

Trump and his peons are so worried about the Terrorists from other countries they are ignoring the terrorists in our own backyard. I find these terrorists much scarier because they’re already here and now have the government on their side. Religious freedom, ya’ll.  

He sucks at being a human so I think it fitting he’ll have to spend years of having to feel his mothers disappointed glare. If she’s like my mother there will also be large quantities of passive aggressive comments.

This is wrong and I will not laugh, I will not laugh, I will NOT laugh. Chortles do not count as laughing.