There is no better way to genuinely show your truly felt patriotism than compulsory displays of your boss’ nationalism.

$600k/yr to be a meathead that helps meatheads get meatheadier. Society’s f*^&ing values...

Drogon is loosed!

I’ve got a great idea. Let’s get a bunch of guys together, and whichever country gives those guys the most money, expensive trips, and wining-&-dining...well, we’ll give that country the Olympics.

It’s fitting that Hosmer was the hitter, since Hosmer gave up a (temporarily) game-changing error in game 1 of that WS. Difference was Hosmer had an offense that dug him out of that mistake.

Mets fans be like, “where was that defensive prowess when you played FOR us in last year’s WS?”

Fans shoulda used those boos when he emerged from the dugout in the 9th of WS game 5 last year.

Surprised they threw out the doped urine. Should've swapped them with samples of US athletes.

9/11 of which year? Because the only 9/11 attacks I know of took place in 2001, and involved two 100-floor skyscrapers and two airplanes. But I’m sure a cool $1.5Mil will cover that.

“Another string break by the way, dyuude.” Guess the surf commentator was filling in for the network’s usual tennis guy.

Maricopa Co. Arizona?? Is the kid Hispanic? No? Then Sheriff Joe Arpaio will probably leave him alone.