it’s like volleyball, but big!

Sounds more like he was Voluntold to leave.

Bill Belichick will sign him next week and he'll be a three-time All-Pro for New England

His name is Brandon though

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

Someone with no kids voluntarily joining a two-day road trip with a family that includes 1- and 4-year-olds is one of the craziest fucking things I’ve ever heard. After about hour eight, he’ll probably call ahead to a urologist in Florida and schedule a vasectomy before even returning home to Chicago.

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

robot umpires might disadvantage a certain kind of precision pitcher who nibbles on the corners and successfully teases out a wider strike zone

Trump: “Wait a minute. No president has done what I’ve done.”

he was right to edit you

Might as well change your handle to That_Old_Guy now 

With this one conversation Lamar Jackson is now a closer friend than any other member of Rodgers’ family.

Username checks out. +1

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks spends four years on an island....alone. When he returns to civilization, his estranged wife notes “We got a football team now.”

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

His stint in Spin Doctors was sorta interesting

Add this to the ever-mounting evidence that the only interesting thing about Lalas is that he used to have crazy hair.