I like this, I like it a lot. Whenever people ask me what I’ll do if I eventually regret my tattoo I say, “Look, I have all kinds of marks on my body that I didn’t ask for and I don’t like. I have scars, I have stretch marks, funny freckles, weird bumps, whatever. Those are all permanent too. I CHOOSE my tattoo, and I…

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

It means stabbing the barista and robbing the till.

It’ll be the next Enigma code.

Amok, amok, amok...

You leave John Oliver alone, young lady.

Lol. Well I’m glad she did you right (and for the record, I love “pasty” chicks. I think you’re fun to work on).

Aww a pot holder. I can’t speak for your mom, but if a child handed me a pot holder in lieu of tissues in a moment of distress it would be oddly very comforting to me.

Somebody needs to post a video of the Amy Schumer sketch of apologizing women!

If a make-up person doesn’t know how to do black people’s makeup then perhaps they have no business calling themselves a professional.

Good point.

You think 100 years ago was the last time black people were being murdered because of their race?? That’s cute.

I’ve come to the realization that I, too, would be okay with a Grey Dystopian Smock, so long as it was comfortable. I realize that people get a lot of joy out of fashion, and I wouldn’t want to deprive them of that, but I also wish that I could just... opt out of the whole endeavor. Luckily, at least for casual…

My sister changed hers for her first marriage, then kept it after he left her. She then changed it again for her second marriage.

“Equity” Residential.

Never met a brown person that wanted to be white. Maybe treated like white people, but never the color of white people. I will say some brown people wanna be lighter brown. That's it.

OR JUST BE PALE THATS OKAY TOO JOIN OUR COVEN IN THE SHADE WITH THE SPF30

lmao i say it all the time

i feel like being a resident of small town New Hampshire or Iowa would get annoying very quickly.

You know, I typically swing on the straight side of things, but Juilia Louis-Dreyfus can get it.