“...a large bookcase filled with colorful, brightly lit Noah’s Ark toys and books behind glass. ... My son has his nose pressed against the glass, and directly above him is a book that reads ‘Destructive for all Ages.’ It goes on to explain the dangers of fairytale-like representations of the ark, as it ‘attacks the…

Aww, man. If you quit after “Flavor of Love,” that means you missed out on “Rock of Love.”

AND ROCK OF LOVE WAS AMAZING

I hate hate HATE buying gifts for my grandparents every year. They’re old. They’ve already purchased everything they could want or need. They have no hobbies besides watching tv and playing golf, and I’m pretty sure they have already received EVERY POSSIBLE THING IN THE WORLD golf-related over the past 30 years.

But…

I actually love the version of “Cheap Thrills” that doesn’t have Sean “More dan Goiled” Paul in it.

Never forget.

Option C: As Xerxes.

“Reads Madonna for Filth”

Don’t shoot me, but who’s Vicki?

I thought that too, but he actually released a very nice statement:

I was going to argue that it should be Bette Davis instead of Norma Shearer, but naaah. Joan fought with everyone :-P

It always made me so mad how they followed up the boat explosion with “Cut!” and then all the actors gathering around to watch the shot as reassurance that it was all an act for the video.

I wanted Reba to commit straight-up murder.

I don’t really know what it is, but it has the word “Urban,” so... uh... Ben Carson can pick the winner.

I hate that fucking song.

OMG. WTF must her glutes be made of to do that so effortlessly?

Gay?! I wish! If I were gay they’d be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see...

Remember when everyone was obsessed with trying to figure out if 16-year-old Britney had implants? Ah, the 90s.

Ah, I see. Yeah, that’s just mean.

The woman on the right is current-day Shelley; the photo on the left is Vivian Kubrick.

Team Maggie. I can’t imagine how annoying it would be to have strangers want to take pictures with me when I’m just out minding my own business.

I saw a meme after the RNC contrasting that ugly $12,000 jacket Hillary had worn to an event to Ivanka’s $150 convention dress from her own clothing line and just wanted to weep. Somehow the cheaper dress made her more “real” and “less elite.”

Because no one understands frugality and the everyday working man’s budget…