I can still hear the voices in my head. “Press 1 for hot and horny girls.” “Press 2 for hot guys who do it with guys.” Then we’d hang up in terror, and laugh until someone else was brave enough to call again about 10 minutes later.. Repeat.

Yeah, her parents’ big concern about her shaving her head wasn’t “Little girls love long hair” or “We’re worried other kids will tease her” - it was “This could affect her ability to get other roles.”

I had a teacher in high school who caused quite a scandal by marrying a much older (and wealthy) man. Barely a year into their marriage he was diagnosed with a degenerative illness. I never once doubted she truly loved him, but there was no question that she regretted spending her 30s taking care of an old man and…

Yeah, I didn’t want to bring it up, but that’s a HUGE age difference, genders and orientation be damned.

Team Whatever’s Best for Their 17 Children

Well neither is “Radar Online’s anonymous sources.” Every comment here is all guessing games and gossip.

I’m really worried it’s Bill Murray, you guys. The part about “revered by millions around the globe.” The fact that in the early 80s, that whole group of guys from early seasons of SNL could get absolutely anything they wanted and were also completely coked out of their minds. The strange way the word “kingpin” was…

Oh Jesus Christ please no.

I don’t think it could be Spielberg because Corey Feldman has said very nice things about him.

Sadly, there are many high-power pedophiles in Hollywood besides Bryan Singer.

The savages live in the North...

I would love to see Adina Porter play a character who DOESN’T have substance abuse problems. :(

One thing that struck me about the premiere was the complete lack of humor. The past few seasons have been soooo campy, but this one (so far) seems to be just giving us a straightforward scary story. Even the sex scene was tasteful, especially by AHS standards. I still hold out hope for Lady Gaga in a Pilgrim outfit.

The overweight Jewish woman with the quirky grandma also swims a lot; don’t forget!

Is “sensational young Brooklyn rapper” the new “promising collegiate swimmer?”

The one thing I always thought Michael did right was keep those kids out of the spotlight. Yeah, making them wear masks in public was extreme, but nobody had a clue what the children looked like, so they remained safe and anonymous.

If ANYONE knew how fame could screw up a child, it was Michael Jackson, and he did a…

Oh, I get it, and in Colbert’s case he probably should have just used the word “farm” and I’m surprised he didn’t.

I just have a problem with someone declaring a long-common word to now be off-limits. Plantations have been around since the Roman Empire; they aren’t all Alabama and Scarlett O’Hara. Like I said above,…

And I hear it all the time whenever someone comes to Hawaii and HAS to visit the Dole plantation. There’s also Plantation Rum, Plantation Camp, and like I said, countless plantations all over the world. Are we also supposed to stop using the word “cotton?”

I can think of lots of words that have bad connotations when you’re talking about slavery: Whip, master, shackles, etc. All part of a horrible, horrible history. But we still use those words when we’re discussing things that are actually whips and masters.

A plantation is a large piece of land (or water) where one crop is specifically planted for widespread commercial sale and usually tended by resident laborers.