“I said show them a scrum! A SCRUM!”

This is what Donald Trump says every time he looks at his polling numbers among African-Americans.

No idea how he got a hold of Louisiana Senate candidate David Duke’s speech.

This is essentially like pulling out when she is 37 weeks pregnant. It’s a tad too late.

Every World Cup, pundits ask what would happen if our best athletes chose soccer. Now we know.

“The man had toilet paper on his shoe. The officer had no choice but to interpret this aggressive behavior as wanting to eat shit.”

Ashley going to the Peggy Noonan/Tom Friedman Journalism By Talking To Randos School. I like it.

Nice to see Huma has finally sworn off Weiner for good.

IF THE POOP IS SAUSAGE SHAPED IT CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED A SANDWICH, I WILL FIGHT YOU IN THE MOUTH

Well then, I guess he’s shit

Was the shit spread out on the bread, or was it an unbroken log? If it’s an unbroken log, then why even go with the 2 pieces of bread instead of a bun? Madness. You wouldn’t eat a hot dog that way.

But Pee Wee, the Alamo doesn’t have a basement.

The only place that officer is fit to protect is the basement of the Alamo.

Tobias has been saving his smoked meat since forever. Starting to smell a little fünke.

aka “first”

Look man, while I agree that at least one of the dozen or so Plumlees playing in the NBA should be on the list, I’m just not sure it’s a good idea. There are THOUSANDS of Plumlees out there. They aren’t separate entities. It’s a hive mind. And you’ve just called them all out. I wouldn’t be surprised if, after sundown…

[frantically searches list for Kristaps Porzingis]

wait...what’s a “triple lindy”?

What, you guys don’t like weak tennis puns?

Keep asking him about “The Servant” and we’ll have to start calling Westbrook “The Return”