In car design, the distance between the front axle and the A-pillar signifies luxury — the longer the better.

My mom bought one of these new, a black AP1. She wasn’t really interested in performance, she just wanted a “cute” manual convertible. She drove it around like an old lady. I drove it a few times, once when she was sitting beside me. I wound it out to 9,000 rpm. She was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!” I said Mom, it’s su…

A 2001 Subaru Outback for $1700. Runs and drives but is rusty.

Maybe they should have handed out bootstraps instead.

Correction: A Twin Turbo LS so it can live up to the Biturbo name.

Another Thunderbird SC story. I was driving home from college, Gainesville to south Florida. I was in Daytona when the A/C compressor seized and snapped the serpentine belt. Being a poor college student, I called my father to help instead of just calling a tow truck. He drove up to meet me in a Ford Ranger. We went to…

I was driving home from college. This was pre-cellphone years. My Thunderbird SC was having intermittent stalling problems, but it was running okay right then, so I rolled the dice and drove back to school. The car died about 40 miles from home, in the middle of nowhere. It usually started back up after a few minutes,…

Just tell them to buy the stupid Tesla already.

I think it comes down to parts availability. Can you source a new top or that missing shifter? Replacement body panels and floors? Or will you be searching eBay and boomer-filled Jeep forum classifieds forever?

I mean, it’s back there somewhere.

26' moving van.

According to some dumb internet 0-60 calculator, and assuming a 5000lb curb weight and RWD only, this thing has around 615 HP.

Black wheels look terrible on bright silver cars for some reason. They look okay on white cars and dark grey cars, but not silver.

Anything nice. It’s gonna get banged up.

The Toppo Town Bee looks like a mini Popemobile.

Bev’s Better Burgers in High Springs, FL

I think orange colored cheddar looks gross and I will always go for a white cheddar.

I’m gonna go ahead and be that guy: It’d be much more interesting and might even be worth it with the 5-speed. As is? Yawn.

I saw one in Florida.