This is why I get up in the morning. To come to work, sit in my office, and then try to explain to all my coworkers why I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

We tried to get our teammate to drive away from his wedding in our LeMons car. The wife would have been cool with it, but the inside of the car is all dirty. It would have been absolutely legendary.

Dodge Neon. Either lightweight 1st gen or the stupid fast 2nd gen SRT-4. There's a reason that Neons get extra attention at Lemons, and that's because they're great little front drivers.

Boring.

I can safely say I don't know what it's like to be shot at with an AK-47.

Why? Are murderous speed bandits going to protest the new law by killing people?

Heh, my college roommate's sister baked a batch of cookies for us once. I forget what I had said, but she colored one of them green, and said it was poison, and for me.

You have your computer in the kitchen?

Remind me to never enter the Vintage Gas Coup Class. I like my knees.

A guy I work with brings in his Charger Daytona (identical to the one pictured) several times every summer. He's driven it from Chicago to the Mopar nationals several times.

Great, now we're about to find out that CYL doesn't actually have a cat, or a tattoo, or is even a her!

I see we finally found something qualified for #twowheelsbad.

WHAT?! Illinois does something that acutally helps me out?!

They forgot to add "Yell, THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME" before that sentence.

This is way better than mudslinging. "Hey Boris, I have hotter supporters than you do!"

So, one time I was driving with my wife and sister in law (who is currently 22, but this was a couple years ago), and my sis-in-law starts talking about this shirt she saw, it would be great for her brother, it says "Run DMC" on it and is so rockstar! OMG!

Now if only I had the means...

Sooo...how do I take those classes?

No, the Ducati would just have to stop midway through and remove the engine for simple maintanence.

Nice to see that Jalopnik is doing the good cop/bad cop routine with their stories.