Cheesecake Factory has been churning out 1500+ calorie entrees for 15 years, minimum.  I remember Yahoo (lol) used to have monthly ‘least healthy [food item]s by chain and CF was ALWAYS number 2 at the lowest.

I’ve never tried heroin out of fear of both needles and crippling addiction but FUCK DAMN STICK THIS RIGHT INTO MY VEINS

Reminder that Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan directly benefitted from government programs which they would seek to end/reduce/privatize, etc.  You’re welcome for curing your polio, Mitch.

Damn. Some of the life advice I give out most often is:

- If you are put in an emergency situation, DELEGATE TASKS TO INDIVIDUALS. “Help me, please, somebody!” is much less effective than making eye contact, pointing to an individual and saying, “YOU, call the police. / YOU, help me with this bandage, etc.”

...That an…

10+ Years ago, right after graduating college, we headed to the Outer Banks. The grocery store attendant adamantly refused to accept my PA license (I believe it might have been still vertical but I was literally the oldest in our entire group, and it wasn’t expired thus I didn’t have the horizontal yet), but did…

Lol, same

We could all use Bishop’s sage advice

Hey now, that’s not fair. Just because you’re a fucking scumbag that makes spurious, racist connections doesn’t mean your parents and/or children are just as awful.

Not 15 minutes ago, I was using my biggest 3 pokemon against Grunt. I crushed 2 weak rattatas and then spent slightly more than 1 minute on the Snorlax. I’m not sure how I was allowed to have such superior pokemon..

For as pragmatic as Pelosi is, I can’t fathom why she doesn’t lean on ‘the squad’ more often, at least going forward. Let them be the loud, progressive mouth of all things good and just and just keep getting the Jordans and the Gohmerts and this other Texas shithead to just lose their cool.

You know they HATE when a…

LOL, I had completely forgotten that Burfict is now on the roster. That locker room?! Burfict, Incognito, AB, et al? *Chef’s Kiss*

I suggest you really get into the mind of the 4th of July consumers who helped make it so fast growing:

Pound 12 while hanging with friends and then try some activity made more dangerous by your now inebriated state.

Massie is Libertarian-lite IIRC, and Biggs, well... If you’re representing Arizona in Congress you’ve made at least a few poor choices.

Clinton took multiple trips on Epstein’s private jet, known as “The Lolita Express,”

*slow clap 7 times in a grammatically accurate way *

Our Head Coach looks like the love child of Marty Feldman and Vladimir Putin.

Cut the guy a break, it’s not his native language

 Bingo. Might be a classroom aide, but certainly not properly credentialed