This variant has lost some of its magic now that they serve breakfast all day:

I was checking on our cabin in rural Wisconsin one evening after a major storm moved through and a lot of electrical outages were reported in the area. I wanted to make sure the fridge was still running so none of the food we stocked would spoil. As I approached the door, I could hear that music was blaring from…

This. Also how I’ve felt about the live-action Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Alice in Wonderland, and the myriad other live-action reboots that have fallen through the cracks. Why?! Especially when the new Disney Animation features have been so good.

The problem is there tend to be more of the former and less of the latter.

I think it’s still pretty darn good as long as the coffee itself is good. Otherwise, I agree with you 100%. Drinking the swill that passes for break room coffee at my office black is just nihilism.

Needing to cut my sugar intake (I’m rather Chonk and would like to be less Chonk in the future) is what got me to embrace the blackness. And honestly once I got used to it, it made it easier for me to stay away from sugar in other things.

Hot take: black coffee is the best.

Damn, even Dre forgot about Dre...

I feel like the entire article overlooked an important detail in the original question:

I’d like to think they’re secretly released in Mar-a-Lago.

Wow, this explains a lot. I take Zyrtec and Flonase daily to keep allergies at bay. If I forget a day or two, I get severe itching on my palms and my neck, especially right after a shower. I thought these were just allergy symptoms reasserting themselves, but it turns out I'm a cetirizine junkie.

When I was 18, I worked at a commercial truck tire center and was tasked with painting one of the smaller storage rooms. I was carrying the paint and shaking it to mix it. This is how it ended.

Old man yells at (beautifully drawn) cloud.

+1 for Regex!

“deeply self values”

a blunt that appeared to have been rolled on a rollercoaster

Then they need to go back and have Kelsey Grammer do the VO. Frasier-Beast is my favorite Beast.

The momo face always reminded me of the Maintlands’ scare-transformations in Beetlejuice.

Growing up, I could have sworn I saw George McFly get locked in a bathroom at the dance in Back to the Future. Finally, when I got the trilogy on Blu-Ray, I came across this scene:

Grew up watching the version of The Goonies that I recorded off of the Disney Channel. So many overdubs! Literally every instance of “Oh my God” got dubbed to “Oh my gosh”.