Some of his bits were as smart

Michael Jackson stole “Eat It” from Weird Al Yankovic and reinvented it as “Beat It.”

“Fred Armisen has a few all-time classic Saturday Night Live sketches, including the much beloved ‘Californians’ sketch.”

You know who I’m not completely sick of: Lisa Kudrow

Fuck this smarmy jerk; just get Elvira/Cassandra Peterson’s memoir. She’s a MUCH better human being, did more interesting stuff, and still dishes on celebrities in a classy way.

I think it was Chekhov that wrote, “If you’re going to introduce a movie star’s floppy dick in the first act, you better pay it off by the third.”

Count-counter point: WAY more people like Salma Hayek.

Is it a bad sign when he considers Fools Rush In to be his best movie?

You got them mixed up. Jeannette McCurdy was a child star on the Nickelodeon teen hit - ICarly, she recently published a biography of her time as a childstar detailing her complicated family relationship with her mom, child stardom and life-long eating disorder. The person you are thinking of on MTV and autism-vaccine…

As acting advice goes, I firmly believe that spooning with Salma Hayek “just a little bit” would definitely make me look like I was in love with her for the rest of production. (Because I would be.)

Except Olivia Wilde has talent.

Perry is a multi-millionaire based solely on his ability to make the same alarmed face whenever a pretty woman says something in his presence.

He’s not just pompous; he’s also unbelievably stupid.

My guess for the next Mathew Perry book excerpt: “Betty White kept trying to give me comedy advice for like, 20 minutes. Finally I had to kick the old broad in the face just to shut her up.”

No. Just stop it.

I’m typing this with six fingers just to emphasize how necessary it is to keep mentioning it.

Would it be possible to collate all the Matthew Perry and Olivia Wilde articles (past, present and future) together, toss them in a flaming dumpster, and stop pretending anyone cares?

Thanks for sharing!

Who the fuck let this out of the greys?

Yeahno, I hope you squeeze ketchup water out of the bottle every time you go for the condiment, you twat.