Not the same level of seriousness, but I have a cousin with Down’s Syndrome. When he was in his early 20s, he started shoplifting, and because he obviously had some metal issues, the police would call his parents and they’d come get him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do it, but we think he enjoyed the attention.

Your initial reaction is the correct one on Deadspin like 99/100 times, I cannot fault you.

He’s black. That’s my theory

“What the fuck? The guy grabs the gun, disarms the wannabe killer and then hugs him? This isn’t the US Amercia we want everyone to live in. It’s not even worth expressing empty thoughts and prayers.”

It’s dusty in here.

Fuck Thursday Night Football and goddamn everything right now!!!

They told him to stick around, things would be good for him. Being traded to the Jets can’t really be called “good,” can it? (Source: Jet fan.)

this is not very encouraging!!!!!!! BE NICER TO ME, A NEW MOM!!!

+10,000 gold leprechaun galleons

I mean, Ireland didn’t leave the pitch when Bulgaria used the veela to sway the ref.

I live my life by a simple code:

Clean cut guys like this ?

Serious question...my wife is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, and we’re having real issues getting her clean.

Serious question...my wife is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, and we’re having real issues getting her clean.

And from a hidden camera. 

“FROM YOU, OK?! I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!”

One way or another, the Patriots’ trip to Buffalo always leads to dildos on the field.

Haha so funny, reeling in the trgedy of a country. If I was like you I could replly “At least he made it out of school without being taken down in a shooting” haha. Don’t make fun of other’s tragedies.

Hard agree. Also, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios are better than Apple jacks in just about every way, most of all texture (Apple Jacks are like styrofoam, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios are like, well, Cheerios). Also, because they aren’t mostly air, they keep you fuller longer than Apple Jacks, which is a valuable trait for…

Even the name of the candy, a diminutive form of Congolese, is off the charts racist.

Can’t wait to see the Oscar-winning movie based upon his life...from the perspective of the warden.