Great story, such nostalgia.

@demoneye: Well done!

news reporter:

"Zdzierak's girlfriend found the mask and a stash of money and contacted police."

@FriarNurgle: Great idea! YOU WIN!

Users of this file format leave it open on their screens longer in order to read it, thus drawing more power which in turn is created by mining more coal for the power plants, which is done by cutting down forests... except now you cant even recycle the waste.

@gonzorider: dammit I thought I was original.

@Stem_Sell: hahaha well done

They are missing the point.

@Googlo The Otaku Ninja: Rule 34.

@resu427: You get a heart for that.

@bailfire: ... and I have learned something new today! Thanks!

@FrancesTheMute: Your success is my failure to recognize that.

@OMG! Red!: How else could I pass off an opportunity for a bad joke as well as use "Alphabetized desserts" in a coherent sentence at once?

As far as the graphic goes, the tripod looks far more menacing than the butter knife. Also that's not a candlestick, rather its a candlestick holder.

@Tonttunator: Ok, I'll bite.

@Seventhexile Speaks: I do the very same (wonder how a task hasnt been automated) in a variety of fields.

@redwall: 100% true, fantastic point.

Its funny, a robot that wields a knife so deftly should be cool, but I all I really heard was "this machine costs people jobs".

@iFarbs: Its not fast, and I am from the US.