“I mean, some people are blessed with two cannons, and some people don’t get any.” - Nick, Philadelphia 

My favorite part of this whole video is LeBron dragging CP around like a small child.

David Caldwell to M8B: Is Blake Bortles a starting NFL QB?

There should be a urban dictionary perma-hyperlink to this video for the definition of “owned”

And who wants to get off in Albuquerque?

Not limited to nouns.

If they’re hoarding more money than they could possibly need or spend in a lifetime, or their kids’ lifetimes, or their grandkids’ lifetimes, rather than using their wealth to help society, then yup, they should be bullied, shamed and ridiculed.

“Eating in your own home?? Oh my... Was there a earthquake that stopped you from getting to Urasawa?”

The GoP is definitely boo-boo

Does it count as being on social media if you only have an anonymous Instagram account for the sole purpose of following bikini and lingerie models?

I would retort that if you have the ability to make rational decisions and productively soul search/self reflect, then 0% of your life choices would be made by blindly accepting church doctrine and “conservative” values.

Just for reference, that was a 6'1" - 305lb grown ass man he just trucked.  Mortal beings would just bounce off that shit.

I worked inspecting welding on underground natural gas pipelines for 3 years....

But really, if you want pizza, may we suggest making it at home?

Now, do I think Trump is lying about most of what he says? Fuck yes. But I also think there are some things he says that are contradicted by objective reality that he genuinely believes to be true profitable, and on those things he’s not lying, he’s just a fucking idiot and/or delusional conning us.

All politicians over the age of 55 should be removed/banned from office because their lead poisoned brains are not capable of making rational decisions.

NFL Public Relations Policy:

Yep, and in Canada that means 6 feet down, which makes it a hell of lot more expensive and disruptive to the environment than unburied pipe.  Not to mention the host of other problems which come with burying pipe.