Dude.... I don’t even know how where to start with how wrong everything you said is.

Do you understand why international wars except the ones that the US started are basically extinct?

Ooooh, this is the best take I’ve heard all day.

I dare you to go watch the axe gang fight from The Legend of Drunken Master and not move martial arts fights up your list.

Yup, y’all did a real good job hopping in on the glory at the end there after the Russians did all the real work.

Ohhhhh, so you just straight up don’t give a shit about anyone besides yourself. Makes sense. Wish I would have known that in the first place, and not wasted my time.

Oooooh, what’s your pairings? I like the sounds of a little edibles for Iron Man, give em some time to kick in, then straight buds for Iron Man II, and then on to the shatter for three.

Fuck I wish I hadn’t read that...

For someone who assumed Texas sports media does nothing but polish the Cowboys’ collective knobs (apart from ripping the team’s performance when applicable obviously), this is quite refreshing and kinda awesome.

“He thinks some type of sickness injected its way into the human population when people began eating white meats instead of beef and pork,” Speight says. “And he believes it, 100 percent.”

Not sure if you saw this graph in a couple other articles today.

Mind you this is Canadian, so that’s like $1.50/hr American.

Not a great, but not a bad joke.

I wholeheartedly support challenges 2 through 5, the first one is offensive to meth-heads.

Dez Bryant’s wasn’t a catch. All the others were.

Can we make this a theme!?! Daily article?!?

While there’s plenty of self deprecation here, particularly love this hidden gem of a sentence:

He’s literally giving all of Africa free internet just to help them.

And again, it’s players and fans who’ll be left to guess and debate the calls instead of just focusing on the games.