No. The Director’s Cut of Aliens is awesome. the rest of your statement? eennnhhh...maybe

I look forward to discovery because if “Adonis Real” is actually someone’s name, it should constitute an automatic judgement in their favour.
-Highoncoughsyrup, J.D.

For a hot second I read this as a Wes Anderson take on Astro City and I got very.....something.

Assvatars Too: Gay is Hotter 

C’mon. Let James Cameron get a WIN for once, however briefly.

But.....he’s wearing a white collar in the picture! The 3-billion-dollar equity firm that owns this website is truly nefarious.  

Because the Ankler, like ALL Substack publications, has ruthless fact checkers.

Because geniuses rhymes with penises. To wit, this is a textbook example of genius envy. That may very well be the best thing I’ve ever written and it’s incredibly stupid. But to Brunson’s point, I am pretty sure that as the man who just typed that, I absolutely deserve to be acknowledged by society as a penis...i…

Your description of the Hello Kitty sketch was about 25 times funnier than it actually was.  I mean this as a compliment but feel it is not coming across as such.

Borgwards was always an overrated “party-wizard” school. After the death of Professor Snape and the multiple examples of governmental interference by the corrupt Ministry of Magic, it was high time for a reckoning. Ten points to Wolkswagengolfendorf.

Probably a lot of that but I am sure there were also a lot of people who were more invested in the character than the actor. Of course, they probably weren’t the ones shouting shit on the internet. You generally don’t do that about pop culture if you are not actually reacting to a larger issue. At least I don’t. I…

Does your use of solecisms refer to the many grammatical errors contained on this site or to your gauche usurping of Volunteer Proofreader’s position? Either way, I stand in awe and fully admit to double-checking the secondary definition before typing this.

P.S. Since I have you here, should I have used quotation…

“white boys”, “grays”, “lame”, “incels”
Fuck, I haven’t seen such an accurate use of a thesaurus in decades!

a longer time ago. but jokes about him currently having a “career” aside, you are 100% correct. A female actor being labelled “difficult” is a pretty much the end.  A female actor who actually is Perry-levels difficult? Jesus, good luck.

Agreed but I feel like hindsight might have been the better word when discussing eye irritation and farts....

Wernher Von Braun is a classic.  Used it in a presentation about famous Germans in Grade 12 German.

He is a ridiculous person who now occupies a ridiculous position. The whole thing is a sad farce. I would honestly be more upset if he seemed normal at all. In fact, I am straight up furious with you, Kady! DIG DEEPER or just make shit up. Give me a “King Charles Insists All Palace Staff Be Made of Marmalade” or “His…

seems like the bar for first degree is pretty high in Minnesota. First degree is life, whereas second degree is up to 40 years. Hopefully, the prosecution is thinking that charging this monster with the most extreme case of second degree murder will make the max a slam dunk.

I fear for your sanity when they, inevitably, add a Pulitzer for slideshows.

I have never been put in my place so completely. Thank you. I am now just upset that we never got the sequel where Judi Dench is corrupted into a Daemon Prince of Slaanesh and fucks Fulgrim to death.