Scorching hot!

Official statement by Ryan Lochte:

Enciclopédia Marrom broke the case when Lochte said the robber spoke Spanish, as the official language of Brazil is Portuguese.

Why are they worried about the middle of the ocean? I’d be more worried about windsurfing off the edge of the earth.

Hot Take (for real tho): This is the most impressive record set at the Olympics

A history of oral with Manti Te’o’s girlfriend:

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I hope Kucher knows that the water is a hazard.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

I totally understand where the Thunder are coming from on this one. The longer they keep me waiting, the less money I give waiters.

I feel really bad that “neighbors backyard” probably isn’t gonna make the final 53. Had some great receptions in camp.

Starting it off early this year.

The WNBA needs to be careful - people may become disaffected and stop following their league.

Greexit.

Fantastic, now I need to go dig up all of my victims and put them somewhere else. Thanks, Nintendo!

Well at least one of them is guaranteed gold.

I imagine myself playing baseball. Puts me right to sleep.

“Probably just a faulty GPS.” - Michael Scott

Yeah? Then why am I masturbating and trying to get the layering right in photoshop, smartass?

Rufinol, apparently.