Flintstone pterodactyl: It’s a shoving.

“Great shooting, Fletcher Magee” sounds like a sarcastic insult from an archery festival.

I would never co-sign a defense of this guy, and I don’t want to go off on a tangent, but with this video what we see can’t be the whole story.

What were his opponents thinking about? You’re going up against a 500 pound behemoth and you take NO windup with your arm.. Meanwhile he’s putting his hand up to your temple like the Bear Jew with a baseball bat and then slowly taking his arm back behind him.
Just stupid. I think he’s a Putin plant and these schlubs…

I’m only partially kidding here. Mike Schur makes this happen, my money says.

Thanks for...restating my point, Jason? — Chidi

Can we talk about the fact his fake comforting backpat is just a “Steroid Coach” backpat?

This can’t but have something to do with the next season of The Good Place (writing credit, consultation, guest appearance, Jason plot twist, etc.).

It was too good to be true, dammit to England.

0% chance the little leprechaun that usually calls Messi’s game with such orgasmic glee would not have had a coronary by the third goal— probably just wanted to protect the little guy on St. Patrick’s Day.

I have a hard time believing they don’t have at least one non-Mormon.

A lot of the Patriots slogans are great proposal lines— We’re Still Here,
No Days Off— but the Red Sox ones are also special:
Cowboy Up, Do Damage.

Yeah, my wife prefaces most statements to me with Sofa King, though what follows that is usually not very encouraging.

Never Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down.

*Bill Hicks voice* 🎶We’re the hooligans 🎶

He was confused because traditionally in South Africa a flood of birdies had always lost to a par tide.

He had a wry, hard-boiled bearing, even as he chummed it up with the softest professional athletes there are. It wasn’t Fuzzy Zoeller-style crackerassery that made him side-eye Tiger early on— it was that Tiger didn’t have a clue enough to give Dan Jenkins some basic respect, didn’t appreciate that (to put it in…

Lars von Trier’s reboot of “Cocoon” is going to be awful.

Tacko, a loving tribute to Fall clan.

Wait, you can just say “The matter is resolved” and everything goes away?
— Kareem Hunt