HOW CAN HE SLAP?!!

With “A. Abdul Olajuwon”

Houston is no stranger to heart-breaking losses at the buzzer. At last seasons’s NCAA tournament, they were victim to Jordan Poole’s legendary buzzer-beater.

Yeah, if there’s one thing UNC is known for, it’s how few NBA stars it’s produced.

Not surprising, after watching the orange Immortan Joe get away with every type of bullying imaginable, that a little War Boy like this thought he could escape notice and censure.

Old Pawpaws reminiscing when those folks had to wear the brand. 

Hoping against hope it was someone in a Harden jersey who dribbled up to Murray then shot over him.

🎶Are you feelin’ some leg smears?
Stowin’ away some grime? 🎶

What made us dream Jamal would oil a grey beard?

Yeah, he’s big on fakes where the holder runs straight up the middle on 4th and 6 and gets pancaked like a marcher on the Edmund Pettus Bridge (just to help drive the point home for Alabamans, like a billy club to the body of a marcher on the Edmund Pettus Bridge).

“That’s what you get!!” — Mrs. Philip Rivers, handing him one of their eightillion kids when he asks for some.

The most ridiculous thing about the story isn’t hyping coffee— even anti-snobbery about coffee is hyped now, like Dunkin’s “We’re blue collah drinkuhs in chahhge of running the world!”

It’s that they’re pretending coffee isn’t related to what Toni Kukoc said about it— the winsome facilitation of a gargantuan pre-game…

But also about how much younger he was when he did drugs, i.e. he had “quit” by the age of 16. Apparently still doing it when you’re in your mid-20's is inexcusable to CK. That’s when you become a responsible adult who jacks off in front of the unwilling and scared.

Jet Fails Can’t Draft, Still Bums

Like Joe Rogan being Hank from Breaking Bad’s stuntman.

Dana White looks like Kingpin after a Silkwood shower of Axe Body Spray.

Amazingly, this was not the most humiliating goal of the last day in Serie A. That would be Zaniolo’s goal against Sassuolo. Sadistic, slow chip shot.

The collective will to see more Cable Thanos videos is playing its part too.