“What had happened was”
One of those days you really wish Stuart Scott were around to read the note on Sportscenter.

Hey look, it’s Tom Osborne, launching Lawrence Phillips down the path of decency and maturity.

Omelette you Finnish, but...

3/36
The saddest “1 out of 12" team failure since Matthew 26:47-50.

“Alexa, show me Donatella Versace’s face as a jump shot.”

I think he meant a Father figure, like monsignor, bishop, etc. etc.

*Karl-Anthony trips on flagstone, spills tray of food, doesn’t practice it again*

I’ve always thought Clark Kent was a ridiculous conceit, but it really is amazing that this bespectacled, klutzy dork panicking at an incoming beer might be an AL MVP.

Yet somehow still 10X more professional than the resignation letter of Belichick, the Temple Grandin of the chronically concussed. 

I hope their first story was a debate about whether a lady who names her kids Yardley and Thatcher should be lobotomized.

Check out #90 with the over-the-shoulder grab. God bless that Iowan farmboy, Willie Maize, the Say Hay Kid.

“happy to give himself up without scoring”

No, it was Sunday, Ty Montgomery’s “For God’s sake please don’t run day” but he went ahead and got his brains bangled.  

“How helpful were the screens your teammates were setting?”
Hey, ease up there, Mike Wallace.

I don’t know what tone was intended exactly either, but it seems to me when the guy has already tried to come back once and relapsed, caution is well-advised on everyone’s part. So making a Nixonian list of people who are against your return, and taking it to Twitter, seems like you’re less committed to being fully…

He just spent five minutes referring to Matt Barnes as “Embree” and “Hembree,” like he couldn’t even confuse him for one Red Sox reliever-- he had to confuse Barnes with one current reliever and one from 2004.

He wasn’t even Cerebrating Goober.

One of their favorites is letting their limbs fall asleep to make it feel like another team is forcing their mistake-- The NFC East Stranger.