Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

Just wait until the Rockies lose to the University of Phoenix on Tuesday

The car was allegedly reported by several commuters on Atlanta's I-285 beltway who complained of a car moving far too slowly for traffic conditions.

Was it a crecent moon? Did the water roll into the bay or was it choppy? Did the warm night air have a trace of lavender? Tell us more....

I feel like this is a parody of 1994 Bay Area.

It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Want To Take The Stairs)

As The Onion once said, "If we don't preserve freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are??"

Fixed. I'd rather these idiot-asshats not wisen up, making it easier to prune them.

See, I'm on the opposite end of things here.

The men met at a Miami Heat game as part of their on-going commitment to celebrate things that sports fans were really excited about in 2010.

I've said it once, I'll say it again, somebody in Hollywood should throw money at Verhoeven to bring him back to these shores to direct something like the next Batman movie. On the other hand, maybe his dark cynical vision would be too harsh for today's moviegoers. I also prize his non-sci-fi films like Basic…

This is a fine commentary, but as an academic who teaches students about Homer and Plato on a regular basis, I'd ask you to rethink your statement about the Greeks as "relatively primitive when it came to almost every conceivable measure of analysis." Perhaps you're just referring to economic development, and if so…

I saw them on tour over the summer. They were awesome. Metal concerts feature the most unique potpourri of fans you'll ever see. Middle aged moms and dads reliving their glory days, teenagers who stumbled upon Hairnation on Sirius and liked what the heard, the people who claim to be there because they're big fans of…

1. Shout

"Okay, first, you're going to need a bigger hat"

I think the car rides are the biggest improvement. Something about the pre-taped sketches in front of a live audience format has always bothered me, even back on Chapelle Show. It just seems cheap and unneccessary, what the hell do they need an audience for if it's pre-taped?

Oh, you mean eHarmony?

Wow, that lower pic looks like a helluva party. Which Portishead tune was playing when it was taken?

A hunter shooting a runner happens as often and as regularly as Christmas.

Was the guy with the camera standing on the court for all five games?