Inflicts more bodily harm than the Bluth Cornballer.

I believe that was Chris Gaines.

But was it?
stares deep into the horizon, pondering

I subscribe to the belief that everyone can find at least one artist in any genre that they'll enjoy.
ALOT of country music is crap, but "country music" covers such a wide swath that surely you could find something enjoyable. Just probably not any of the pop country that gets played over and over on the radio.

Don't forget one of the most popular "country" songs for awhile was literally about red Solo cups.

"I just don't get it. Why doesn't everyone hate blacks, Messcans, Muslims, gays, steers and queers, Yankees, foreigners, women, wussy men, Democrats and Chinese as much as I do??"

Bro, do you even eat Fritos?
Guess not, otherwise you'd think of Garth's new song every time you fix Frito Pie.

And she was singing with those no-good Bush bashers, too!

How do we know the billionaire didn't bribe anybody?
I just watched John Barrowman bribe a jury on Arrow, and Thiel could very well be in the League of Assassins Assholes.

So many people think they're one scratch-off away from becoming rich and famous so they might as well start taking up for other rich assholes now.

Especially the AV Club mentioned at the end!

Good thing I still have my Cleveland Indians knock-off "Caucasians" t-shirt!

They hated Gawker so it's a-ok.
Wait til another fuckface billionaire decides to take down a site people actually enjoy and they won't be able to stop wringing their hands.

As in pre-1920s medicinal.

"Who?"
-fuckin' kids today

You forgot to mention how funny she is. Women can be funny, xXxcat, get over it.

You can't get high as fuck on reg!
—weed joke

"I hear shovin's worse than pushin' but I'd rather know a shover than a pusher cuz a pusher's a jerk."

Any background to your comment? Last time I was up-to-date on any comics was the New 52-era.

HBO or Netflix series of Max Brooks' WWZ or gtfo.