I'll try to have her home on time.

Could we stop acting like 21-25 year-olds are friggin' 15 on this site? Go get you some, grandpa!

Do you think the Avengers will stop Thanos BEFORE he gets this glove of unlimited power, or will he get it, beat the shit out of them before the Avengers use the Power Of Love to somehow defeat Thanos and the Glove of Unlimited Mothsfuckin' Power?

Turn the 3s into blinking .gifs and you've struck gold.

I thought it was a Key & Peele sketch after I dozed off for a bit during the CC marathon the other day.

"Corporations are my friends, people." - 2016 presidential candidates and those current clowns in Congress.

Sit, Jeb, sit! Good dog!

Exactly. At least then we'd know of extraterrestrial (albeit boring) life instead of just suspecting.

Holy cow!

"Let me just go ahead and nip this in the butt."
"Uh, Mr. Hunnam, sir…it's pronounced 'bud.'"
"…Not the way I do it."

While Hiddleston is certainly better looking/more charisma/actually an actor, Jake Penrod is the near-living embodiment of Hank Williams.

More of how the story would have been different (if any); less of how Lucas handled them.

Tequila makes the nipples on GRRM's breastplate fall off.

In 1,000 years, after King Obama and his Menagerie of Muslims have completely eradicated all traces of the Christian Bible and Jewish Torah (or w/e, I've never met a Jewish person), the citizenry will hold rallies and internet fundraising campaigns to protect their rights to read and teach the ways of Kal-El, chosen…

I've always wondered what the prequels would have been like if Lucas had hewn more to the hints from the OT.

"And I don't really think it's fair for me to serve on a jury, because I'm a hologram…"

That poor kid? He grew up to be Albert Einstein…

Bro, does O'Neal even AV Club? [sic]

If he was a gimmick account wouldn't his only response be, "Dika! Dika! DikaaaaCHU!"?

Happy Freedom Day! Where everyone has the freedom to work a 14-hour day for well-below minimum wage in hazardous conditions!
"It don't matter if you're 9 or 99!"