I will accept a limp dick over incessant talking, EVERY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK.

When I came home for Christmas break after my first semester at college I ended up hanging out with a guy who I had met right before I left for school. We were flirty and our personalities meshed really well, but we were both awkward as fuck. I really wanted to hook up with him (assuming the feeling was mutual) but I…

This was perfectly written. High five. And also, ah, what a guy, AMIRITE LADIES

So it is Christmas eve and I am sitting around the fire with my family. My parents’ house smells like mulled cider and is decorated in all its seasonal splendor. My phone rings and it is my on and off again ex-boyfriend! Things had ended badly with us and he wanted to reconcile! I was on could nine… Swoon!

I don’t have anything either. My partner and I have very non-embarrassing holiday sex, and he’s the only one I’ve ever had holiday sex with, which is a total bummer for the purposes of having a cool story to tell.

The wild office parties kill me - they really are that crazy? What is the next day like?

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Both the holiday and the embarrassing come at the end of this story.

My coworker that I was hooking up with brought a date to the office Christmas party. Beginning of the night: um, ok dick. End of the night: sobbing tears. It got so bad that one of my other coworkers removed me from the party and then proceeded to make out with me in the alley outside. We ended up dating for 5 years.

Good! I hope they’re successful. Since the child will probably find out eventually, I imagine it will be less traumatic for her to be living with people who knew her parents as something other than monsters when she does.

a colleague of mine is going through his FOURTH divorce. another one has 5 kids by 3 wives, and he’s not even 45 yet. the national head of our department is on his third, and doesn’t really hide his proclivity of hanging out with prostitutes.

what did he say????

This summer, I had a sex dream about Rob Ford (yes, that’s the crack smoking ex-mayor of Toronto). In the dream we were married, and had people coming over for dinner in 20 minutes - so I convinced him we should sneak in a quickie before our guests arrived (yes, I convinced HIM). We then proceeded to have intense sex,…

I’ve had my share of weird sex dreams (one memorable one where my partner and I decide to switch genitals), but the worst part of all of them is that sometimes I have dreams where I forget that all these men I’ve slept with are just figments of my imagination, and someone threatens to tell my boyfriend what a cheating…

Perhaps some day, we will advance far enough as a people where we all see religion as silly and harmful. However, I am not going to hold it against people who are culturally tied to their beliefs and traditions to move towards fair treatment, progress, and perhaps a different interpretation of their scripture. That,…

I used to wear a salwar kameez until it fell to bits, though I still have pieces sewn into a quilt I made. It was given to me by some Sikh friends and I wore it to their daughter’s wedding. But it was generic - it had no specific sacred meaning to their culture: it was just a piece of beautiful, comfortable and quite…

Not my story, but friends of mine were outed as swingers at Thanksgiving dinner once. A fundamentalist sister found out via the internet that the young couple were in the Lifestyle and blabbed all in front of God and Grandma and the mashed potatoes.

One Thanksgiving a Jezebel writer made a blog post about someone who made sourdough with their yeast infection. It was grossest thing ever, and it was awesome.

Everyone knows that the kids’ dad was a geniune, dyed in the wool, abusive asshole through and through. I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner at the tiny trailer because he was refusing to go to my Grandma’s and was not going to let me take the kids (the older two were babies at the time) alone. He asked what time the…