AHHH, please do this!! Seriously, I think this would work.

IDGAF Jeb Bush would be really fun to watch. I am hoping that this is the first sign he is headed there.

I missed jury duty without an excuse, and my mom told me that I better drive more slowly because there might be a warrant out for my arrest as a result. I believed her and drove like an old lady for 2 years, until my roommate asked why I always drove so carefully and enlightened me ;-)

What about a white girl visiting India? Would that be okay? (asking sincerely - I planned a trip to India years ago, never got to take it, and I am hoping to re-plan it once my kids are a little older. At the time, the advice I received was to buy clothes there, particularly a salwar kameez, as it would be more…

It really was catchy - I still get it stuck in my head sometimes. I think she thought it was funny :-/

My mom used to sing “Fatty fatty, two by four! Couldn’t fit through the kitchen door!” whenever my pant size went up.

I’m thinking that any guy who says he “respects you” too much to fuck you is not worth another thought. That is such bullshit.