Hint: stop watching the javelin.

How far can Clayton Kershaw punt a football???

No.

It's all the worse because it was Elvis's yips that just about single-handedly killed our playoff run last year, but he's still gonna get paid, and Desmond isn't.

“STATES HAS SPIDER BITE ON HIS PENIS WHICH HE ATTRIBUTES TO CLEANING HIS DECK IN HIS BOXERS.”

Of course Ray Rice should be punished, but is this the type of crime that should bar a person from hi profession for the rest of his life? I think not.

Hot Take fire flame!

too many words. be more concise.

Agreed. This dude just kind of sounds like the bitchy bride to me.

I love when the goal-scorer immediately credits the man who serves up the assist to him by pointing him out or running over to celebrate with him or you know, generally acknowledging "hey man, that was kinda all you."

wide right

HEY THEY ARE KICKING FROM THE 35 YARD LINE INSTEAD OF THE 30! THAT'S 5 LESS YARDS THE BALL HAS TO TRAVEL BEFORE IT CAN BE RECO-What? That rule was changed? Wouldn't that mean kickoffs will mostly sail out of the endzone and transition right back into a 2 minute commercial break? It does but no one cares?

Brian Hickey (Nights and Weekends Editor, Emeritus): I remember looking at the bill and thinking "Wow, that's really amazing." And then I went back to watching a video of two prostitutes fighting in a Tuscaloosa Arby's, and as one used the other's weave to form a crude garrote, I reflected that "The great end of life…