and for the first time today, the fucking Farmers Insurance ad isn’t the most annoying video on the page. 

And once removed, the team starts winning.

This dumb thing reminds me of another dumb thing I’m curious about in the fantasy world. I don’t watch any of these knuckleheads, but I do know that they make lots of very specific predictions. Do those ever get brought up again and get their stats run, or do they actually get paid a shitload to pull numbers out of…

4) A hobby

That’s awesome, I have this guy on my Fantasy Fantasy Football team.  We have a draft of all the national football commentators at the beginning of the season and we get points when said commentator bitches at pro athletes for ruining their Fantasy Football record.

Fun Fact about Matt Berry: He is the co-writer of ‘Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles’ and was sued by Paul Hogan who claimed that he actually was the writer of the movie.

But that would require him acknowledging that there is an incident in the first place. There is a new line of public affairs where you don’t deny that an event occurred or a thing was said. Instead, you disregard the possibility of that event or thing ever having the possibility of existing.

“And I’ve got news for ya’. I haven’t been wasting my life. I’m very fulfilled with what I do. This is important. People need to relax and I help facilitate that, and without me and my hobby expertise, the nation would delve into madness. Didja think about that? I’m the only one holding you back from the ledge. Oh ‘I…

Player 1: [rolls ‘Screw You!’, moves ahead three spaces]

“We are not petty nerds, we are gamblers!" Petty problems

On a network of useless talking heads Matthew Berry is somehow the most useless. It’s almost impressive. He’s telling people what characters to use in a video game and, in this instance, is mad that he told people the wrong thing. What a dork.

What could he possibly be mad about? He gets paid what i assume is a decent salary to do a made up job, talking about a made up game, while being about as accurate as a weatherman doing it. Big picture, Matthew!

Silver lining is that every minute Berry spends ranting about meaningless bullshit is one minute less he can spend sexually harassing Jenn Sterger.

This man needs two things:

He also bragged about how many likes a tweet got. 

And he doesn’t even talk about it well. I can’t believe I listened to this podcast many moons ago, but it was the first one out there.Glad I stopped listening like 5 years ago.

In fairness to Matthew Berry, he really can’t afford for his audience to figure out he has no special knowledge and is basically just guessing at fantasy football like the rest of us. 

Fantasy football has very little to do with skill and a lot to do with luck.

This is a man who makes a living providing advice about fake football getting mad and yelling at the Arizona Cardinals Twitter account on his ESPN podcast. That’s a lot. Also, I now wish I had picked up Edmonds for this past week.