I think they were “invited” the same way a mobster that wants to talk to you is “invited” into your house.

Well, that, and a whole shitload of ocean.

They were friendly spiders as evidenced by their making room for the giant.

How are you still here today to share your story? My skin would’ve crawled right off with those spiders.

probably BY spiders too, to lull us into a false sense of security

Now, I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew steel and aluminum tariffs could be so complicated.

Thanks. I like royalty.

Um, wow. That’s a substantial amount of information about the topic. That’s amazing. Thanks for this write up.

Kilometers? Sorry, I’m an American; how many gallons is that?

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Not a restaurant, but I manage a cinema in which the following exchange occurred last night (translated from French):

"Do you want butter?"
"No, I want a Pepsi."

Like whack-a-mole, but every time you hit a mole, an indignant mama duck comes out to scold you.

He goes "No, I KNOW what tempura is, what's THAT?"

I feel like this is now an acceptable response to the more ridiculous comments on Jezebel. EXCUSE YOU, I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON. I SELL MONOGRAMMED COFFEE THERMOSES.

I'm so offended at your blatant foot shaming! I WAS A SOCK IN A PAST LIFE AND I FIND THIS VERY TRIGGERING.

We had a dude meticulously scrubbing his nuts in the bathroom sink once but I wasn't working that day because I always miss the good stuff.

I'm about to transfer to UGA. Is the Grill a place I should frequent or avoid because I'm getting mixed messages! haha

I was at a coffee shop waiting for my drink when this older guy was hitting on me and the young girls behind the counter. Having been in their position (can't say go away creepass to your customers without a bit of fear), I told the dude repeatedly (in a pretty nice way because I didn't want to start anything) that he…