Why do you hate children with cancer?

Oh. My. Those guys are hot!

Hopefully she haunts his ass so he never gets to have a full night sleep in his life ever again.

911: 911, what’s your emergency?

Me too(not twice tho). And I was like freekin 12! I swear, I think this movie turned me gay. I just could not fight the moonlight, noooo

Obligatory (and I do mean it):

I watched it 3x for that awkward af laughter at the end of the “yes he does actually”; it’s a cry for help :(

Cannibal cop is #goals

It’s both! This article is full of gems!

+1 #blueballsmatter

In heterosexual dating, when a guy says he likes to “eat,” it’s usually a good thing...

She missed the “(no relations)“ joke! It’s ok though for now ;)

God bless u for actually listening to it. You have made a great sacrifice and your fellow countrymen thank you.

Was he good at least at umm... playing the trombone?

I thought that too. It should be FLAGM (feeling like a granma), or FLARMWKAAGAFISNSCSC (Feeling like a retired mom whose kids are all grown and financially independent so now she can sort of chill)

I would’ve gone with, “the library of Congress is open, ok?!”

Trench coat optional

In Italy, there’s an invite for the public to watch this trailer on a giant screen at the local piazza. The poster also reminds you to bring an umbrella, a raincoat and some kinda eye protector.

Anthony Weiner plays the same game with his kids except it’s called, Find the...

I thought it stands for, “STOry, shoRT"