Me to a minion in the break room a few weeks ago: “Did you know there’s a law against putting fish in a public microwave?” Minion: “... there is?” Me: “Yeah, Hagrok’s law. Please don’t.”

I am going to upload a photo of the menu in the window of an “American” pizzeria in Helsinki, featuring a great deal of smetana, and an assortment of combinations that would never be found on ANY self-respecting American pizza. (also featuring the reflection of my Finnish friend’s forehead.)

(Also, you may know this,…

I’ve never had McClure’s actual pickles, just the potato chips. I like Grillo’s because they’re still crisp and flavorful, and the spicy ones are hot enough to be interesting for a one-off snack but they don’t make me sweat.

A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter I CAN REMEMBER.

The best spicy pickle chips I’ve ever had were from McClure’s, and I only found them ONCE at a World Market.

The Vortex in Atlanta has a Fat Elvis burger - peanut butter, bacon, and plantains. I have not had it, but a friend did, and is now known as Mister Peanut Butter Pants after a healthy amount dripped past the napkin.

See also: North Carolina. We are FULL of dumbass yahoos who would like nothing better than to return to antebellum days when non-white people and women had no place and no power, and deviant people stayed underground or they were killed by aforementioned yahoos who would never face accountability for it. But the…

The Honda crab commercial from about 15 years ago is still my favorite, but I acknowledge the crab’s speech is a little dodgy and not something they could do now.

It depends on the brie. Sometimes it tastes gross and I peel it off, but I will eat it along with the cheese if it’s not too funky.

Despite growing up in the 90s, Brad Pitt never did anything for me - he was pretty, sure, but not my kind of pretty.

There’s a Russell’s across the street from my old elementary school that I liked better than Abbott’s, but I don’t think I’ve been there in 25 years.

And the garbage plate is such a thing that they’re not allowed to call it garbage plates anywhere else - the replicas down here in North Carolina are “trash plates.”

Tea spoon for life. I only use the bigger spoons for ravaging the jar of Trader Joe’s crunchy Speculoos Butter.

I love horsey sauce. I love hot mustard with horseradish that makes me bang my face on the table with tears streaming down my face because my sinuses are burning. I do like moderately (white people moderate) spicy. But I don’t really love hot peppers, and won’t eat them unless they’re diced small in salsa - jalapenos…

They were every bit as sleazy as every other hair band in that day - there were all KINDS of shenanigans going on under the Live On The Round stage - they just covered it up better, only ending up in the news for losing limbs, dying of alcohol abuse, and spousal battery.

I don’t even think I knew Pret A Manger was in the US. I’ve seen it in Paris, and it’s my breakfast go-to in Heathrow (those cold chicken avocado basil sandwiches are delish).

Employment PII in general is serious business, though, and I’m amazed the company didn’t have SOMEONE looking over the legality of that.

A stroke killed my mom. She was a lifelong smoker who only quit in her 50s when chemo made it unpalatable, chemo + the beginnings of COPD gave her a persistent cough for 15 years, and she had a-fib that eventually required a pacemaker. We all expected it would be a heart attack, but stroke was not entirely unexpected…

My stepfather’s diabetic mom also committed suicide by sugar - difference was that she was divorced, he remarried, and he told her they would never get back together again.

I have a standard-issue, nondescript, ski-slope nose, but I am absolutely a fan of noses with character, especially when drawing faces. Please don’t play them down.

I buy Bamba at Target in the kosher section. A friend of mine said she bought it for her kids in the kid-food section of some grocery store, although I don’t remember which one.