Lie or die.

I have my maid come on Friday afternoon, so my house is clean all weekend when I spend the most time in it.

If someone replies to my “How are you doing?” with “I’m so busy.” I just end the conversation and I make a mental note to not ask again.

If you buy truffle ________, you are probably getting ripped off.

If you buy truffle ________, you are probably getting ripped off.

I like this one better. I keep it on my backpack. It has a dozen different uses and is incredibly well built.

I like this one better. I keep it on my backpack. It has a dozen different uses and is incredibly well built.

“And he’s out at home...”

He forgot to list his EFL class.

Oops, I let Harvey do it again...

Breakfast margs are dope! Get the double.

Rick Bayless’ “Torta Frontera” at O’Hare

In his next appearance, Brian France will have an “In And Out Bail Bonds” patch on his suit.

I would be concerned that the extended exposure of the tea bags to the citric acid of the lemonade might extract some of the harsher tannins from the tea. I wouldn’t leave the tea bags in contact with the lemonade any longer than absolutely necessary to get the level of black tea flavor that you desire.

Same guy was on the Grassy Knoll when Kennedy got shot too...

Depends on the trip. If I’m renting a house with a group of people and driving, I’ll bring the works (knives, circulator & bags, seasonings, thermometer, and any specialty tools based on likely local cuisine) knowing that as a former cook I’ll probably end up doing a majority of the kitchen work and I would rather…

I always hate “RIP” postings, but I find them especially offensive for Anthony Bourdain.

And make sure you switch to new rubber gloves before you go from cutting peppers to having sex.

And make sure you switch to new rubber gloves before you go from cutting peppers to having sex.

That’s like me making a rule about how only one European supermodel can tweet about my incredible sexual prowess at a time.

I use DNB (do not buy) on my shared grocery shopping app too. Sometimes we end up with too much of a staple that we buy each trip.

It’s great to spend time in a major hub. Most have wonderful new amenities and great food. International terminals are even better. Especially if you have access to the airline lounges.