I have a group text with my siblings and mom and the last conversation on there was me sending a picture of a sex toy I found on the sidewalk near my house and my mom saying “I don’t think I needed to see that,” then my brother sending a picture of a toy someone bought for his daughter that looks just like a vibrator.…

“I’m concerned my kids will be teased for being second-class billionaires.” 

But have you seen how fucked Michigan schools are lately? A thing that is definitely not at all her fault.

Maybe if she’d gone to public school she wouldn’t be so fucking stupid

What do you call it when you fail to stretch out that easy triple?

He’s 3/5ths the outfielder that Brett Gardner is!

The government of today has no right telling us how to live our lives, because the government of 200 years ago already did! They also protected us from tyranny against the seizure of tasteful, artistic photographs of my super hot daughter who I absolutely do not want to sleep with!

“Okay now Alex let’s take a picture with your hands over mine. Ready... 1... 2... 3... WE’RE ATHLETES!”

Trump marveled at the size of Russian captain Alex Ovechkin’s hands

Fuck this asshole, indeed.

ESPN 30 for 30 presents: Three Tugs and a Cloud of Dust: The Manipulation of Robert Kraft 

He’s literally twice the husband and father most people will ever be.

The SAT score of 2280 is actually lower if you convert it from Canadian.

That’s nothing. Starting QB Aiden Smith-Harrington took his girlfriend to Red Lobster and gave her crabs.

Some people just like to stir things up. I don’t think Jones needed to stew on it for months, allowing his simmering anger to boil over — he should have found a way to porridge heart out to Smith.

They should see if someone else has a video of this from a different him.

i wonder if he’ll get accepted to jale.  

I just want it to be known here and now that if my parents did anything to get me into college, that was foolish because they are still paying for it

He’s never going to make the big time by kicking out 15% of the audience.

Breshad Perriman: I’m going to give it my all in Tampa and catch everything that comes my way.