• At about 10:25 a small blonde lady starts yelling at the protesters: "We're the ones who gave all y'all the freedoms that you have!"

Fuck this guy with a metal rake. Seriously.

Or: I like it because it is greasy and salty, and I've liked it since I was a kid, because our family saved fat and never did that lo-fat bourgeois Eighties bullshit.

"Deadspin rails on people all the time for being racist, but therefore they hate the entire Midwest."

Fixed it for you.

Garbage compared to what? Handmade Shaker furniture? Custom, carpenter-made cabinetry? Yes, it's garbage compared to that.

Vulvatron is apparently cool as hell IRL, based on people I know who knew and hung out with her in college.

I don't know whether to get upset about this or not. Is opium, like, not gluten-free or something?

"If it'd been Brett Favre, getting gunned down in a futile attempt to defend his baby daughter and her mother from home invaders in the dark, holy shit, man, we'd have named a national holiday after him."

He's like the real-life version of Brendan Fraser's character in "The Scout," but without the horrifying mental issues.

So...

(1) Make yourself sexually available to drunk men.

"Also, they're 11."

I could not stop laughing.

The NFLPA has lobbied for, and received, regulations limiting the number of practices, the type of contact in practices, and the amount and type of work done in other organized team activities and mini-camps.

When you lobby for regulations limiting things, it is because those things (1) currently exist; and (2) you…

Every time I go in the woods, I'm shocked at how quickly things move. However, there's the "what do they use THAT for?" factor to consider when placing a Squatty Potty device in your home.

#NotAllCops?

I guess your idea of "a scientific population sampling" is "5 of your dumb-ass friends."

"I'm not here to be my kids' friend, I'm their Father. I'm keeping my baby of the pole. By any means necessary."

You're living proof that spanking creates spankers, yes.

Your other argument is specious reasoning.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I doubt that law would survive a facial challenge.

Is it exhausting, removing all context from something and tying yourself in knots to defend poor and probably unethical lawyering?

You know what a good lawyer says here? "We're confident the evidence will back our position" or NOTHING.