When the aliens do finally arrive on earth, one of the first questions they will ask is why earthlings can't watch anything that's even mildly amusing without holding a little screen in front of our faces.

Gronk - the perpetual 8th grader.

All ears at a Nickelback concert get hurt.

Don't forget that super satisfying foaming noise the Debrox makes while it goes to work on your earwax.

Someone somewhere is concerned about the effect this will have on baseball. That person may or may not be an elected official who will make an issue out of this and gain support from people.

Putting Rudolph in the middle is a complete cop out.

Maybe he can just make a publicly-funded video game to teach the kids how evolution (marco, of course) is wrong.

SLPOA seeking punishment for people exercising first amendment rights. This makes them look stupid. What PR person allowed this to be published? They should be fired.

1. Hotel bars sitting dead last and airport bars taking second is an irreconcilable discrepancy. They are almost entirely the same thing. The only discernible difference is that there are cars parked outside of one and airplanes parked outside the other.

DANG! Imagine the sobfest Phaneuf and Kessel would put on after something like this happened in Toronto!

I wonder how many angry letters CBS got from Mothers Against Pantomimed Fellatio after this?

Playing in Toronto has to be one of the highest-pressure gigs in professional sports. You're in what is essentially the world capital of hockey (perhaps appropriately, perhaps not), and you're on a team that hasn't made a meaningful impact in the postseason in over a decade. Talk about being under a microscope.

Some people would consider having such a limited an ill-informed view of a large group of people and making sweeping generalizations an indication that one is "low-class." See also, speaking directly out of one's ass.

This is exactly the kind of garbage my work-neighbor would love. I'm going to probably be forced to perform seppuku if she ever discovers this.

Here's to more sour beers! I love them, for the most part. Rodenbach makes great sours, La Folie, which I think is brewed by New Belgium is my favorite, should also recommend Bruery OUde Tart. I unfortunately don't have a taste for Duchesse De Bourgogne, which I'm told is something like the gold standard for sours.…

Rob Riggle managed to land a role in this? I bet he's constantly being hounded by the guy who would otherwise be the most annoying person in an otherwise funny movie. The thought is, "If I can't get Riggle in this, I'm going to be the worst thing about this movie."

I wonder at which "moments-in-time" mouse shit in the pizza dough is acceptable?

That come-hither look the fan is giving to Sanchez in the video still is telling.

I would have been beside myself if that bird landed on me. Birds are terrifying. I can't be the only one who thinks that, right? The beaks, the talons, the vision, the POWER OF FLIGHT?!?!?!!?

I think next week there should be a counter to this point from the perspective of the pukee. Let us hear from the vacated bus seats, the toilet-adjacent bathroom tiles, and the innocent front lawns that have to bear the brunt of human folly that is the GHP.