Foreplay was 15 minutes of Russell talking about how great KY jelly is.

At least it wasn’t landmines. Those are the greatest dangers posed on a soccer pitch.

Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you.

I went to Georgia Southern (one of the top underrated drinking schools!) and I am in a similar situation. Frat boy, honor student, partied 2-3 times a week to the point of alcohol poisoning a few times and did I ever rape anyone? No. I never even got a DUI!

Three months? He’s gonna miss the whole summer. Man, rape just isn’t worth it.

I wonder if “East Campus Smell” will ever do that for me.

Hah! I thought it would be the stockphoto of the Chuck E. Cheese mascot snorting coke. Still funny.

Y’know, I came in the year after that, and *still* cannot handle even the faintest whiff of that distinctly Eau De Soured Beer Sunday Morning smell.

I used alcohol as a cover to justify to my buddies the fat chicks I hooked up with in college. Reality is I would have banged them sober, but being drunk was a terrific excuse. Either you are a rapist or not. Alcohol doesn’t change that. This douche is a rapist.

I went to UGA during undergrad one of the years we were ranked the #1 party school (nbd) and I spent the absolute drunkest years of my life there. I was blacking out on a weekly basis. To this day, I have a lingering shame that I feel anytime I go back to visit. That being said, I never once got even remotely close to…

Really Tim? A soccer jersey? You’re voting for Hillary aren’t you?

Yeah, son, you’re so scared of Teh Femalez it’s turned you into a foaming-at-the-mouth ideologue incapable of anything more than reciting a spittle-flecked litany of MRA talking points.

I brought it up, and I will keep bringing it up. Just because food is cooked outside doesn’t make it BBQ!!

I didn’t want to be a pedant so thank you for bringing up the BBQ/ cookout thing. And I say this as a midwesterner who moved to the northeast.

Anyone born north of the Mason-Dixon line has no input regarding BBQ that’s worth a wet fart.

I would put mayo-slaw at 3, right after hush puppies at 1 (never had those with BBQ before, but now that you mention it, fuck yeah), and bacon-jalapeno creamed corn at number 2. Mac and Cheese at number 4. I know you hate the mayo, but I believe good food is all about contrasts; temperature, texture, flavor, and even…

You forgot fried okra. Definitely in the top 10.

Brunswick Stew - even in the summertime it’s amazing.

Shouldn’t this post be titled “The Case Against Cats and Not-Awesome Dogs (Almost None of Them)”?

Moral of the story: Cats make you bitter.