Hahaha fair!!

What are your thoughts on Mars???

Because the texture of a toasted bagel is still 98% the texture of an untoasted bagel, with a little bit of crisp in between the cream cheese and the bagel that some people find texturally pleasing? A bagel doesn’t taste like regular bread, nor does a toasted bagel have anything remotely resembling the texture of…

Ah shit. Got me there. I meant to say the Double Stacker and got my bacon burgers confused.

Geezers need excitement. If their lives don’t provide it, they’ll incite violence. Common sense, simple common sense.

Aside from the ironic flavors (Earwax, Earthworm, etc), Buttered Popcorn is the worst Jelly Belly flavors.

I went to the yelp page to compare it to their instagram and they plate the tacos just as well.  Sorry I missed it when I visited.  

I was ungreyed on Gawker.

Remember Gawker? :( 

Always loved seeing your name on Deadspin comments, so I hope you get followed.

Last I worked at AMC Theatres -- so, two years ago -- a 6" pizza was about 7.50, so this deal isn't so bad.

There is a till.

“Alum” is a casual, informal term. Language happens.

If you really want to play pedantic games, “alum” actually an abbreviated form of “alumnus”. As such, it seems reasonable that “alums” might be an abbreviated form of “alumni”.

Please don’t do this. ^

Brimming with the taste of butterfly pea-ness.

It’s obviously battered fish.

If there are three cup sizes, and the person taking the order can’t figure out how “small”, “medium” or “large” corresponds to their naming convention, then their compulsory education failed them.

I’ve often wondered what it would take for Salty to recommend tipping less than 20%. I remember one from way back where the server rolled their eyes at the guest’s grandmother (who from the story apparently hadn’t said anything offensive or rude) and Salty still recommended a 20% tip.

Absolutely not. Support your local indie pizza joint with that money. 

I’m pretty sure at this point, we all understand that it’s bad for you. I cannot imagine that anyone thinks that a coffee drink with two different kinds of syrup and whipped cream is good for you. I know two nights ago, when I had a shitty day and got a peppermint mocha on my way home because it was festive, I didn’t…