I believe you mean the long(-faced) con(servative)

Nick Offerman is only 4 years older than Leo. Crazy, isn't it?

How is it possible that Chelsea Handler is only turning 40?

Exactly. This is her job. If you're really sorry about what you said, maybe reevaluate what you do for a living.

I realize she didn't mean to use that word, but what the hell was she trying to say?

Michael Keaton is an incredibly positive-minded, optimistic, simple (in the best sense of the word) man. He is absolutely nothing like his character. He has said, despite the obvious Batman/Birdman parallels, this is the furthest from himself he has ever played. Please don't denigrate his performance by saying he…

Wait...isn't he in Gigli? Why are we even having this discussion.

I don't think it's being implied at all. I think it's a statement of fact. People who don't like it ARE better than those who do.

I haven't seen that many white kids on one basketball court since Hoosiers.

One of these two was a complete fraud, famous for doing one thing that people thought was more impressive than it turned out to be, and has been riding that notoriety for more than 13 years. The other is Danny Almonte.

"...or they'd drop her ass..."

But so many people are still defending everything she's said in this feud. It's okay, you can hate the Kardashians and still think Amber is classless, too. There's room in the rude, gross, minimal talent boat for all of them.

"Who wants to sex the Clinton?"

Is it under his funny hat?

It's not that I think it's close, it's just that there are so many games left. I'm not a huge fan, so when I heard on TV that Chelsea had it wrapped up, I figured there were only a couple of games left.

Can someone explain to me how it's so clear that Chelsea has the top spot locked up? I realize they're by far the best, and have a huge lead, but aren't there still 14 games (roughly 40% of the season) left? I haven't been following EPL long, but it just seems really early to be calling the season over, right?

Knock it off, Grandma

I meant to do that.

Maybe this family should just lick each other clean like cats. Bathrooms seem to be a problem for them.