Once, while I was 'between Minis' I had to drive a mid 90's Vauxhall Corsa. It was an absolute piece of shit, and had been used solely as a first car by every single driver who'd owned it since it was new. It had been ragged.

You sicken me.

I was once stopped by a police officer because my car was 'unsafe'. It was a classic Mini that was missing the bumpers, chrome rings around the lights, grille and a passenger side wing mirror.

Ultima GTR?

I didn't call him, he called me! I'm just as upset as you are, I don't want phone calls from dead car designers! I've had to call my phone provider and get the number disconnected and everything.

Either way, he was angry.

I've had this guy called Alec Issigonis on the phone ranting and raving about something called the 'Mini?' I'm not sure what he's on about, but he sounds pissed.

I'll duck down. It'll be fine...

I need them to make me a Mazda 767b to take to Le Mans with me next year. I need it SO BAD.

Well this left me in a cold sweat.

Can I just say, as a Brit, to all those who are slating us for having historic artifacts from various ancient societies and not giving them back;

The Queen asked me to pass on a message, she says those greasy bastards couldn't even afford the postage!

Except we get to decide if the ring stays in the country. In this case America aren't the World Police!

Another thing you can do is add an extra fan above the drivers side wheel. I had one for a while and it really helped. I had it the wrong way to start off with though, so it was just pushing against the normal fan!! That didn't work obviously, but when I reversed it is was amazing. I had serious overheating issues…

It's a great series, it manages to seamlessly link a myriad of mythical creatures and history into the modern day.

If you put it on the left hand side of the grille it shouldn't overheat.

Whoa, why's this greyed out all of a sudden!

This guy is such a cunt.

When he knocked the mirror off I was thinking 'Oh no, they don't bloody need that! Get the windows, THE WINDOWS!'

Well it depends on what you call 'bad'.

To be fair though, he's not wrong.