After enduring an excruciating month using a $15 shaving "paste" that was supposed to moisturize while giving me a "smooth, comfortable shave" but in reality was 5 minutes of the most painful shave I've yet to experience (seriously, it felt like the razor was plucking each individual hair out of my face), I went to…

Wow, 13 million?! I may be wrong but isn't that Sunday Night Football territory?

When it comes to drugs and alcohol, never tell cops even the smallest of truths. They do not reward honesty.

Wow, I always thought that "trade rape" was limited to fantasy football.

I'm going go throw a coin in a fountain and make a wish that Zack Synder sees this and decides to quit Superman and go make the live action DBZ movie he so clearly wanted to make.

God, if Dragonball Z had looked like this when I was a kid. I would have had some serious nightmares.

I guess Goodell watch The Last Boy Scout a few to many times.

Is that like getting blown by someone who just ate a bunch of calzones??

That only works for Hispanics who have German sounding last names.

I mean come on, you just say the magic words and it gets bigger...

I would be so much more excited about The Wolverine if it wasn't so tied to X-Men: The Last Stand. My only hope is that after Days of the Future past the entire franchise gets rebooted into the First Class continuity. I mean, wasn't the whole point of killing everyone off in The Last Stand was so they could end that…

Just think of the toy sales....

Man, what I would give to see a Punisher movie directed by Tarantino. If he ever wants to do a comic book movie, I can't think of a better character for him to work with.

Wait, they're promising orgies? Someone needs to tell this guy stat!

Umm, wasn't it Bobby Jindal who was giving speeches recently about how the Republican Party had to stop being the dumb party?

Hogan's Alley?

Oh, I was thinking it was set in the 80's after the last Wolverine movie.

I did the same thing but hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe, so I don't feel completely awful about it.