Jon-Erik Hexum is an actor best known for his manner of death than any acting role. He was on the set of a TV show playing around with a revolver. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Fortunately, it had no bullets. Unfortunately, it did have blanks. The blast sent shards of his skull deep into his…

But who will play the very popular and important Tiffany Trump?

He lost me when he insulted Chicago. You just made an enemy for life!

You should hang… your head in shame.

McDonalds killed my mother, and raped my father.

He has to go now, his planet needs him.

New Rodrick has the hair and delicate features of a Japanese woman. #NotMyRodrick

Anthony Crispino is reporting that Bridget Moynahan is leaving the NHL.

Dear television networks, there are too many aspies on TV these days. Please eliminate three. I am NOT a crackpot.

I'm sick of that fat old white guy with a bad haircut. But enough about Michael Moore…

We all know why she's gonna be hired: Trump wants to grab that pussy.

No mames guey.

HH Holmes. The HH stands for Hubba Hubba.

That's not a Simpsons quote! Hey, this guy's a great big phony!

My jokes have been stolen. Seconds after Leo won his Oscar, I wrote "So this is how memes die: with thunderous applause." That was a completely original joke written by me, and hours later it was all over the Internet. I tell ya, I don't get no regard, no regard at all. No esteem, either.

Did they ever get to the word you can't even spell properly without getting flagged, "kuunt" aka "C U Next Tuesday"?

Stupid delicious Flanders!

He was supposed to be in Fargo, season 3. This health scare might be why he didn't do it. He was gonna play Carrie Coon's police colleague, who hasn't had much to do so far.

He got sick of being the poor man's Forest Whitaker.

"I loved you in Platoon", they'll say to each other.