Let's all marry that lady, it won't be weird

MARRY ME, LADY.

Oh, this wins everything ever.

Yup.

Scut Farkus hasn't aged a bit since Ralphie beat him down.

The future of human evolution?

While an adult may have a number of options when confronted with abuse – to flee, to fight back, or to seek help from law enforcement

As someone who has never met you and lives in New York City, I support this decision.