Tomorrow on NFL Countdown: Kaepernick might be the greatest of all time, but is he "elite?"

That's because you're obviously better than all of us who do. Good for you.

"Ha! You call that ruining a mock draft?!"

I was able to put together the dream team

Just piss in the bathroom sink like a normal person. BAM, no more pee on the toilet seat!

Phil Roth is undoubtedly grateful for the page hits. What Phil Roth is probably not grateful for are the words "Phil Roth's wonderful little tool."

That top photo is the last thing you see before unwillingly starring in a BDSM themed gay porno.

...then the coach went back to first base and turned around, and the kid threw batteries at him.

"Cry me a river" - Shaq's wife. .

I enjoyed this, but it's all bullshit. Yasiel Puig comes from his penis, just like you and I. The difference being he can jack-off in the outfield and fire his seed to 3B without a skip. I, on the other hand, can only manage to accidentally hit myself in the face.

I'm sorry, but lacking any bullshit moralizing about Puig being too emotional or demonstrative I don't see how this is relevant to the sports landscape.

This is the slowest thing I've seen related to baseball since a baseball game

If you wanna cop a look at Kevin Smith's penis, he will oblige.

Much like in junior high, the first time you get to second, you get so excited that you forget where you are.

The Astros are the gift that just keeps on giving

I guess now he's a maizeball brother.

Pictured: has one more World Series ring than the entire Deadspin staff combined.

You deserve the prize. I just mailed it out to you. Should be there in 2-4 days.

No surprise. Cubbies are never within striking distance.

Guys, Indiana has been VERY clear about this. They are totally open and accepting of all races. They even have a place for them. It's called Gary.