Many years ago (okay, only like 4), my boyfriend and I went to a fancy Italian restaurant in Philly to celebrate the last night of being together before I went off to teach English in France for a year. The food was delicious, but rich. We had a full course meal, complete with dessert, and left happily. We started…

Oh my god one time in freshman year I was in Harvard Square at 1 in the morning having just tried to stop the dam against drunkenness at Felipe’s and I really had to pee to I ran down into a loading dock and only discovered after I was done that I had accidentally soiled a pigeon.

Teenage me +house party+ too much booze + taxi cab home= me vomiting, but then holding it in my mouth, too drunk to coordinate, I decide to swallow... Vomit some more, get kicked out of said cab. Puking on side of the road while people drive by honking. Fairly certain this was like 9pm too. #shame

I’m scared. It’s not a “ha ha, that horror movie really startled me” sort of way. I’m having a panic attack. I’m genuinely frightened.

I’m already looking forward to the impeachment hearings if she wins. This is going to be fun*.

Too late, jerks, I already voted.

Oh joy, the House will start articles of impeachment proceedings before she’s even inaugurated.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Breaking news: white man with lots of privilege cannot handle losing contest. Just wants things handed to him.

Now this is a motherfucking president.

Man that was the weirdest shit. All I could think was Megan is an adult, and Heather was grabbing on her face like an old Nana. Beat it Heather.     

“Say sorry to your friend.”

Vicki is the Donald Trump of Orange County.

tfw you’re an adult woman.

She meant she will be the 45th president. Hillary Clinton isn’t low brow enough to mock Melania’s or womens ages, that’s Donald’s specialty.

That doesn’t make any sense so you’ve lived up to your username. I googled again and found this:

I assumed that she was smacking the Donald for his history of trading in for a younger model, but yes, Hillary would be POTUS 45.

Yeah, I watched it live then watched a different feed on YouTube. There were three or four Clinton jokes that didn’t land, one cruelly funny one that people pretended not to hear, and zero boos for Clinton. You’re not reporting accurately on what happened.

 some argue that her laser focus on winning the election has been more of a detriment than anything else.

If anyone needs a laugh, this is honestly my favorite thing right now. Cannot stop watching it. I LOVE this version of Trump: