That was fantastic.

I gotta be honest, it’s stupid as shit but yeah, if I were a billionaire I’d build a 50 foot statue of myself overlooking everything. I’d put that shit on top of a building and have a deadman switch installed, so that when I kicked it, the statue would fall 80 stories and hopefully crush a bunch of people who came to…

This is a magnificent obituary and is exactly how she deserves to be memorialized.

Every time Phyllis’ name is mentioned, I love to take the opportunity to remind everyone that bitch used nannies to help raise her kids while she was on the road and shaming women who used nannies.

The good die young.

I offer my condolences to any of the family she had who might have loved her, and my congratulations to anyone who’s suffered under noxious judgment. Farewell Phyllis. You won’t be missed.

Better late than never.

Welp...

Bye, Phyllis.

Yep.

He wants people to be held accountable for murder. Fuck that guy

You are an ungreyed Deadspin commenter and you think cursing makes the writers sound ignorant? You are truly the white whale.

How sweet, HamNo brought his grandmother over from Gawker too!

In what way are money managers and stock pickers not a bunch of motherfuckers?

Other than my soon-to-be-raided state of Florida pension, my retirement is solely in index funds. The law of averages beats whatever some dudebro business major can do. But I bet their customers still look down on folks who play the lottery. At least the lottery player has some cool dreams about what they’d spend the…

These articles are impressive arguments to never, ever attend an NFL game in person.

Tony Stewart tried it yesterday and twitter gathered him up real quick

As an Eagles fan who probably won’t see a Super Bowl in this lifetime, watching Cowboys fans suffer in due to an inevitable collapse is my heroin. May GM Jerry Jones live forever.

So the Tea Partier got tea bagged?