Many of my students have asked for my rendition of, say, Drunk Art History, which I give them as best as I can without actually being drunk - it’s more, like, Unprofessional Art History (“So, this painting by Hogarth, see this fat bitch right here? That black spot on her face? SYPHILIS, OBVY, because everyone back in…

This was my history of education. All my teachers were drunk or high as fuck.

One tiny, good thing now is that newspaper subscriptions are way up. So some people out there are fed up with clickbait and fake news.

Dear Mr. McMullin,

I’m not actually getting my hopes up. Can you recount the tally on a hacked computer?

If Gary Johnson joins the fray, all is forgiven, moronic third-party voters.

At this point, it’s worth $11 to try and fuck shit up.

Wow, Jill Stein finally did something useful. Although, much like her campaign I think this is a fool’s errand.

This fucking year.

Dear Jill Stein,

In other news, Gary Johnson still sucks. Fuck him.

Imagine this. If this were to pan out (I know it’s incredibly unlikely), all of us who bitched about the third parties, myself included, will have to humbly apologize. It’s unlikely that Jill being in the race caused the Trump electoral victory all by itself, but without her in it there would be no recount. Trump…

I wonder how her pal Putin feels about this. She should probably google symptoms of polonium poisoning so she’ll know what to watch out for.

Fuck I want to believe in this, but, it ain’t gonna happen. They may file in one state, get a ton of push back and wander off and forget about it. Eventually she’ll buy a new Tesla with the cash. Besides there is no way the outcome will be changed, remember all that talk about peaceful transition of power blah blah…

I don’t expect anything to really come of this, but at the same time I’m secretly putting all of my hope and faith into this changing everything and making Clinton our president. DON’T LET ME DOWN, STEIN.

I can’t wait to hear Syphilitic Tangerine’s response to this at 3AM

I take most of the bad things I said about her campaign. Most of them. I can’t believe I just gave money to Jill Stein. I feel like I’m in some sort of parallel universe.

a rising fund lifts all candidates, as they say.