OMG You Dumb Ass. He’s from AUSTRALIA. Not Austria. Not even the correct hemisphere.

And for the record, Austria didn’t ‘unite’ with Germany in 1939. That implies Austria had a choice. It didn’t. And Australia was part of the Allied forces during WWII.

So he’s either a baseball player or a character who commits suicide in a F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

“When we were in residency in Florida, Brandi would say, ‘Tony, can we get a couple of vans and go over to watch the [MLS’s] Tampa Bay Mutiny?’ We would get the vans, but it was her idea. She just wanted to watch top-level soccer.”

Paying "The Fart Tax" is what happens when you go see any new Adam Sandler movie in the theater.

I requested video of an Asian fucking some Premier League players and all I got was 2013-14 Cardiff City highlights.

Friendly reminder: this motherfucker who tweeted “The Lakers is gone get a ring”, “Lebron gay 4 that” and “Kobe already beat durant shot he do that to but charges” graduated WITH HONORS from Michigan State University.

Since this ended in a thai, it went to a shootout.

Bryce Harper was born 10/16/92. Kris Bryant was born 1/4/92. Bryce Harper has played 366 more MLB games. Scary.

You’d think the international anti-corruption agency would basically be called “Sepp Blatter should resign, then we’ll get to other shit”.

If I want to ignore basic geography in order to further my patriotism, that’s my right as an American, sir.

Science fiction: (noun) 1. A genre of literature which emphasizes currently unrealized ideas such as space or time travel, sentient machines, etc. 2. A belief that Liverpool will ever win the league.

This is an example of something that has nothing to do with the popularity of soccer in any country

What an idiot. He’s allowed to use his hands.

Yeah, no. The Rockets made it to the conference finals missing two of their starters, and got the second record in the west despite their second best player missing half of the season, along with the other injuries.

Best sports kid of all time was Eddie House’s little man, Jaelen (“Little House”). Kid was on the bench for just about every one of the C’s games during the title run.

Dear Cubs Fans,

But soft! What bench through yonder playoff reeks?