I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

You know, I didn’t really think there was a way that Goodell could screw this up, but here we are. All he really had to do was hand down the discipline and then let an independent arbitrator hear the appeal and probably scale the punishments back a bit. But the egotistical fuckwad has to insert himself into the…

This is exactly how I feel this morning and I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

[Pete Carroll rubs chin]

It’s not like a tablet has ever said stealing was a no-no.

What an asshat.

My favorite part is how so much of the media just plays along with the narrative Goodell wants. Goodell is “tough” on those who “disrespect the integrity of the game,” rather than a grandiose figurehead who dishes out punishments arbitrarily in whatever way he thinks will best satisfy the majority of the public.

more like roger badell.

Do you guys have some focus group results that suggests people outside your office care as much about Bill Simmons as you all apparently do?

Hearing “SEC” uttered, Dan Gilbert immediately bolted from Quicken Loans Arena.

“You ain’t in the SEC?”

The best example I found of this was them stating “these equations predict that the Patriots balls should have measured between 11.52 and 11.32 psig at the end of the first half, just before they were brought back into the Officials Locker Room. Most of the individual Patriots measurements recorded at halftime,…

You obviously stole this headline from my collection of erotic fan fiction based on the 2004 Red Sox, and I ask that you give me credit.

The Ol’ Pesky Pole move.

Ellis: “Oh, I’ll try it. I’ll try it. I’m not playing anyway.”
Manager: “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re starting!”
Ellis: [pitches no-hitter with a massive hard-on]

Definitely due to the deflated balls. Not Chicago’s 30th ranked pass defense.

Using Stephen A. Smith as a source to defend your argument is usually a sign that you’ve chosen a peculiar hill to die on.

maybe he’s just seanist